Indeed, jealous-style control or monogamous control can often be increased in BDSM contexts, for example when tops expect that their bottoms will obey a different monogamous standard than themselves.

Outcast sexual cultures of any sort tend to explore nonmonogamy heavily, and I think we can give that as a primary reason that BDSM folks tend towards poly. Also, there is the plural desires issue, where a particular kinky person will want six different kinky things, and it is unlikely that any one person can satisfy all of those.

- Jealousy as a form of control re (non-)monogamy
- BDSM seeks in many instances to use control within a restricted context in a way which subverts control in the real-world sense
- For many reasons there seems to be a large overlap between BDSM & poly – perhaps one of these reasons is rejection and redefinition of control
- Monogamy both as control of one individual and another, and also as a system of societal control. The strong tendency of the poly movement to become political within the control and dominance hierarchies of society.

Do you reckon there is anything in these vague analogies? (There is certainly a lot in this for me – I have a strong tendency of rejectiong interpersonal and societal controls, and seeking to redefine them – but maybe that’s just me!)

R